


His Everlasting Soul

by Alana_loves_SH



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Multi, THE FEELINGS WILL TRANSPIRE, for the gays, immortal but not really, this is my first fanfiction, we are here and we are queer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-02-04 21:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12779748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alana_loves_SH/pseuds/Alana_loves_SH
Summary: You're born, you live, you die, and your soul goes to wherever it's supposed to go. That's how life just works. Or is it? What if when you die that "light at the end of the tunnel" is just a light shining from the next place you're born? What if the reason you cry when you're born is because you're remembering everything you lost? That's not a theory, that's the real way of life. Magnus Bane remembers all of his past lives he's had so far and he writes about all of his experiences. That's how he became a worldwide phenomenon for his books. Now in his third life, working on his third book, he meets a handsome man who just so happens to be his neighbor. Because of Magnus' condition, he really doesn't want to be in another relationship. Alec has never been in a real relationship before and has no idea why that is. But as they spend more time together, the two men find themselves falling hopelessly in love with each other.





	1. I Got You

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfic ever and i hope you all like it  
> follow my tumblr @malec-marvel  
> follow my Insta @aestheticaline

Magnus walked into his new apartment and set down a box of kitchen utensils. The smell of dust and old lemons was almost unbearable, so he decided to open a window. The sound of New York City had always been one of Magnus' favorite things in the world. No, it' not where he was born, but it's where he belongs. In almost every life that Magnus has lived he's moved to Brooklyn, New York. It feels like a force has always tried to make sure he stays there somehow, but he's not quite sure what it is or why it happens. Maybe the universe is trying to tell him something? 

No that can’t be it. If the universe really cares about him, then why does it treat him so badly? Magnus remembers all of his past lives, he’s had three so far. In his first life, his mother cheated on her husband with a Prince named Asmodeus. She found herself pregnant and tried to pass the baby off as her husband’s child. But when Magnus turned six, his stepfather, who he thought was his real father, found out. To save herself from embarrassment, Magnus’ mother killed herself. After that his stepfather became abusive and neglectful. So one day when Magnus was twelve he decided enough was enough. When he found his father passed out drunk on the couch, he decided to take action and burn the house down. Magnus watched as his home burned to the ground with his stepfather inside. 

For the next ten years, he lived as an outlaw. Running, hiding, stealing, and doing whatever else he could to survive. But in time the authorities finally caught him, and they executed him for the murder of his stepfather. It wasn’t fair how his life turned out, but what really wasn’t fair was what the universe had planned for him next. In his next life he was born in London, England. His mother of that time had died giving birth to him and his father had given him up for adoption. Magnus changed his name to the one he uses now and from that point on he changes it to Magnus Bane in every life. The woman named Charlotte who ran the orphanage didn’t seem to mind the name change, and neither did Henry her husband. Magnus always liked Henry, he was a great father figure. Other kids were never really kind to him at the orphanage, except for two boys named William and James (his friends called him Jem). The three of them were the closest of friends, but Jem and Will were obviously closer. Will got adopted by a nice couple but Jem and Magnus never got the tender love of a parent. Jem became a doctor Will became one of the most legendary soldiers known to mankind. 

Magnus became an entrepreneur and an investor. He became one of the richest men in the world. Then at one of his infamous parties he met a woman. She’s was very beautiful and charming. He followed her around all night and she pretended not to notice. Magnus also noticed the ring on her finger, which meant that man she came in with was her husband. But that didn’t stop him. Later in the night he asked the beautiful woman for a dance. She accepted his offer and they danced. 

“Have you been to many of my parties? It seems like I would have remembered someone as radiant as you?”

“Mr. Bane, do you flirt with all your party guests?” she asked.  
“No.” He spun her around and then pulled her back in close. “Just you Miss…”

“Camille Belcourt.” 

“So Mrs. Belcourt, did you take on your husband’s last name? Because I don’t remember ever inviting someone of the name Belcourt to my parties.” Magnus spun her around again.

“I would never take that idiot’s last name,” Camille said. She leaned in close to Magnus and whispered,“What do you want from me Mr. Bane? Whatever it is I’ll be happy to do it.” And then she winked.

He looked around and saw that Camille’s husband was currently occupied. So quickly he took her by the hand and they both ran upstairs. Camille stopped running for a second to take her shoes off and then she continued to run and she laughed while doing it. The two spent a very passionate night together talking and not talking. For months their affair went on. The two would go on fabulous vacations and Magnus would buy Camille the most expensive clothes and jewels. He had fallen madly in love with her. So he told her in order for them to continue their relationship, Camille must divorce her husband. And of course she did it, she had fallen for Magnus more than she had anyone else. And right after she told Magnus she was divorced, he proposed to her with not a ring but with a gorgeous ruby necklace. At first Camille was confused, but Magnus informed her it was more expensive that any ring on the market at the time.

Two years later Magnus reconnected with Will. Will was now married to a woman named Tessa and they had two kids: James and Lucie. When he asked why they chose the name James it was because Tessa and Jem were once engaged to be married. Sadly, he passed away from a sickness a week before the wedding. Will consoled Tessa and eventually the two fell in love with each other. Tessa says every year since Jem’s death she goes to their favorite place on the Blackfriars Bridge. A tragic story for the young lovers for sure. He grew close with his friend again and very much enjoyed Tessa’s company as well. Magnus would sometimes go with Tessa to the bridge. She would tell Magnus stories about Jem. That he wished he had become a professional violinist rather than a doctor. But then Jem would remind himself that helping people was just as good. 

As the years went by, Magnus grew unhappy. He remembered his past life and he thought about his current life. Was this it? Was this going to keep happening over and over? Thoughts consumed his head and made him frustrated and upset. Magnus began drinking more and became careless. To make matters worse, for some reason Camille was unable to carry children. Magnus was growing more and more depressed every single day. 

One night when he was coming home from an event with his wife, they got into an argument. “If I wanted to be married to an idiot then I wouldn’t have divorced my last husband!” Camille yelled. 

“An idiot! I am wise beyond my years?” Magnus shouted back. 

“Then why must you make a scene wherever we go now? You are not wise! You need help!”  
Magnus ran his hand through his hair and then told the driver to stop the carriage. He jumped out and Camille followed her husband. Nobody was around because of how early in the morning it was. The cold so awful, it hurt to just stand outside for a couple minutes. But Magnus didn’t care, he didn’t care about anything anymore. He climbed up onto the edge of the bridge and screamed. 

“Magnus! Please get down!” Camille yelled. Magnus took a step towards the edge. “Magnus!” 

“Why Camille? Why do you care so much?” Magnus cried. He was at his lowest in that moment. Everything that his soul had been through made him want to die right there. 

“Because darling,” Camille spoke gently now. She reached out and touched his hand. “You’re everything to me. I love you.” 

Magnus began to break down and he shrieked with despair. His wife started to pull him back from the edge and into her arms. Magnus cried aggressively into Camille’s shoulder. She stroked his hair and repeatedly whispered how everything was going to be okay. He wanted to believe her so badly, and for a small while he actually did. Maybe things could actually get better. But unfortunately, it didn’t. 

Magnus went on a small buisiness trip for a while to New York. Not too long, just a little over a month. Camille was upset about the length of time, but she understood. While Magnus was in New York, he realized how much he needed to live in the city. It obviously wasn’t as glamorous as it was today, but it was still mesmerizing to him. It was calling out to his soul. So when Magus had some down time, he would look for a place to live. He hoped Camille would love the city as much as he did. So when he got home, he was beyond excited to tell his wife he wanted to relocate. And he had more than enough money to move his business to America. Actually, moving west would be astounding for his company. 

As Magnus ran through his mansion, Camille was nowhere to be found. Maybe she was taking a nap in their bedroom? Magnus walked towards the door and swung it open in excitement. “Darling I-” he stopped talking. What he saw absolutely horrified him. 

There was Camille, naked on top of a man who Magnus had seen before at a couple of his parties. Camille quickly jumped off the man and covered herself in the duvet. “Sweetheart, it’s not what you think!” she yelled.

“How dare you? And in our bed! In the house that I paid for!” Magnus was livid. The man who Camille was servicing quickly got dressed and left as fast as he could while Camille and Magnus were screaming at each other.  
“You’ve been gone for so long! I have needs!” she cried. Seeing Camille cry like she was made Magnus actually feel bad. His wife spent the rest of the day and night manipulating him into believing that he was the one who was in the wrong. So, for some reason, he forgave her and they set off for New York two months later. Magnus grew unhappy in his marriage. Camille continued to cheat on her husband and Magnus began to drink excessively again. 

Magnus was on a book tour and he stopped in London, England. And for the heck of it, he wanted to see the Blackfriars Bridge. It looked different from the one he remembered in his past life, but it still felt the same. He walked around and took it in. This was the place he was going to kill himself. And it was also the place that Camille 

Then on a cold December night, Magnus’ second life came to an end. Camille and Magnus got into yet another fight. They were both yelling and throwing things. And in the heat of the moment Camille decided enough was enough. She grabbed the pistol off of the counter next to her. Magnus kept telling her that she would never actually shoot him. But he underestimated Camille. She shot him once and it killed him instantly. The bullet went right through his heart. 

Magnus doesn't really think about his third life to often. No parents that he could remember and he just drank himself away. He really hit rock bottom in that life. He made some friends, Raphael Santiago and Dorothea Rollins. He even dated Dot for a while before they called it quits. In this life he found out that Camille had stolen his company and built an empire with it. How could that woman be so cruel? She wasn't always like that, so what made her change. Anyways, Magnus did eventually open a club called Pandemonium. He practically lived there, partying every night and sleeping in his apartment upstairs. He just gave up. Raphael tried to help him and so did Dot, but it was no use. He was famous of course since his club was a massive success. But fame meant nothing to him. Eventually, he did die of alcohol poisoning. He was siting on a couch at the club when his vision began to get blurry. And then he just fell asleep and didn't wake up.

In Magnus’ fourth and current life he was born in Seattle. Again his parental situation was horrible. When his father walked out on him and his mother was a drunk. Magnus ran away when he was sixteen years old (his physical form, obviously not his soul). With nowhere to go and no idea what he was going to do, he remembered when he was happiest. New York City. His heart ached to be there again. But what was he going to do? He wrote down everything he remembered from his first life. He called it A Midnight’s Tale. Magnus struggle for years to get it published. While he was doing that, he was moving from job to job towards the east. Now in his mid-twenties, Magnus was about to give up. He had been living in an old rundown motel when he got a call. A publishing company in Brooklyn adored his book and wanted to sign with him. 

After signing a contract with the company, the book was promoted and sold to the public. It became a world renowned sensation. A Midnight’s Tale sold over a million copies after being out to the public for only three weeks. And so Magnus wrote a sequel to his book and called it A Daydreamer’s Folly. Now Magnus is currently working on a third installment to his series. His series is called His Everlasting Soul series. It was about a man who remembered all of his past lives. Obviously, he was writing from personal experience. Around this time something astonishing happened. 

saved him. He flinched at the thought of that night. Magnus always tried his best not to think about his old wife, but it was harder than he thought it would be. He saw a couple staring out at the water. They looked oddly familiar to him. It was making him go crazy. So he got their attention. “Excuse me,” Magnus said. He noticed that the woman was holding a copy of his most current book.

“Magnus Bane?” the woman gasped. The man who had his arms around her stood up straight and smiled.

“Yes?” Magnus said. He looked at the two of the closely. Then he sucked in a breathe as he remembered who this couple was. The thing with people whose souls live on is that in the next life their body resembles what it was like in their past life, but it’s not an exact copy. But Magnus knew, this was his old friend’s Jem and Tessa. 

Apparently, Tessa and Jem had met each other again on the Blackfriars Bridge on accident. Basically how Magnus just recognized them. They got married right away and they moved right outside of London, but they do travel quite often. They were visiting London because it was Will’s birthday and they have a tradition to go by his gravestone. Tessa was so amazed at Magnus’ books. She treasured them with everything she had. Mostly because they were good, but also because it gave hr an insight as to what her soul was going to have to go through. It was relateable for her, and of course she made Jem read them too.

When Magnus got back to New York, he found out he wasn’t allowed to have cat’s in his complex so he had no choice. He had to move right away. And that’s why he was currently unpacking all of his things. Magnus went back downstairs and grabbed a box. This one was really heavy. He struggled to carry it up the stairs and down the hall. It was so large, he could barely see where he was going. Magus felt himself stop moving and then begin to fall. 

“I got you,” a voice said. Magnus felt a hand grab a hold of his waist and yank him upwards. The box fell to floor and all of the books that were inside flew everywhere. Magnus’ heart was pounding as he thought “That was a close one.” When he looked up he was stunned. A man with beautiful hazel eyes and the most gorgeous body he had ever seen had his arms wrapped around him. The man’s lips parted as if he was going to say something, but he was speechless. They stared at one another for what felt like forever. The handsome stranger broke his gaze and let go of Magnus. 

He put out his hand. “I’m Alec,” he said. Magnus shook his hand. 

“I’m Magnus, and I'm really sorry I bumped into you.” Alec smiled and then bent over and began to put the books back into the box and Magnus joined him. Alec said “I know who you are.” 

“You do?” Magnus asked. 

“Yeah, I’m a fan of your books.” Alec had a smirk on his face that looked like he was hold back an even bigger smile. Magnus felt himself blush. Their hands accidentally touch when reaching for the same book. They both let out a small awkward laugh and sigh. Magnus quickly pulled his hand away and picked up the box. Alec opened Magnus’ door for him and helped bring the box inside. The set it down on the counter and took a step back. 

“Okay,” Alec said,“See you around.” He turned around and began to leave. 

“You want some coffee or tea?” Magnus said eagerly. His heart was beating quickly and he felt his cheeks turn completely red. 'Why did I ask that? We just met one minute ago.' 

Alec turn back around and put his hands in his pockets. He scratched the back of his head and looked at the door. Then he looked back at Magnus and smiled. It made Magnus’ heart pound even harder. “I would love to,” he said.


	2. Forever seems like a long time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's taken me so long to update, i've been busy with school and family stuff. so here's a kind of long chapter to make up for it :')  
> follow me on insta : aesthticaline

“You can just sit right there,” Magnus said, pointing to a chair by the counter. Alec sat down and looked around. The apartment seemed nice enough, it was just empty at the moment. There was a little hint of dust and lemons in the air. It would be unbearable to Alec if the window wasn’t open and the scent of coffee wasn’t currently filling the air. He was actually really nervous for some reason and he wasn’t quite sure why. Probably because he’s never really dated anyone before. There was that time he dated that girl Lydia, but that was in high school and he was still trying to hide the fact that he was gay. After three months of being in a “relationship”, Alec broke things off and decided that they were better as friends. To everyone’s surprise, Lydia came out as queer a couple weeks later. She actually ended up dating Alec’s sister Izzy for a while. 

So basically, Alec has never been in love before. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s that he’s had this internalized homophobia that stops him. His parents have always been strict so it came as quite a shock to them when he came out. He has yet to date a man though. He’s hoping that will change soon. There’s also the fact that nobody really notices him. Everyone always seemed to prefer his siblings because they’re both very confident. What struck him as odd was when Izzy came out as pansexual. They thought it was a phase and ever since she got engaged to Simon they haven’t talked about it. 

“So,”Alec said,“I hear that you’re writing a third book.” 

Magnus poured coffee into two mugs. “Yeah. I’m hoping it’ll be my last one in the series.”  
Alec let out a small gasp. He adored Magnus’ novels and had hopes that they would be an ongoing series. Apparently, it was just a trilogy.  
“Why? You’re books are amazing, I wish they’d go on forever,” Alec said as Magnus handed him a cup. 

 

“Cream or sugar?” Magnus asked. Alec shook his head no and Magnus shrugged in response. “Forever seems like a long time, don’t you think?” 

“Well yeah, I guess so.” Alec watched as Magnus sipped on his drink. He silently admired the features of his face. He had mysterious yet beautiful dark brown eyes and he had a soft lips that Alec wondered what it would feel if he kissed them. It made his heart race a little bit, so he took a big gulp of coffee. 

“So,” Magnus said,“What do you do for a living?” 

“I’m an artist. Mostly in photography.” 

Magnus’ eyes widened and had a hint of a sparkle in them. It sort of made Alec blush. “What kind of photography do you do?” he asked. 

“I tell stories. Like how you tell stories with the words you write, I try to tell stories with the photos I take.” Alec wasn’t a super famous artist, but he gets by. He likes that he has to work hard for his art to succeed. It’s sort of brave of him, but there are times when he struggles to pay the rent. His sister always seems to have lots of money though. 

Izzy is a model and a successful business woman. She always offers to help him out, but he always says he wants to make it in this business on his own. She’s also dating a rockstar named Simon Lewis, he’s in a band called The Mortal Instruments. Alec didn’t like him so much at first, but over time he’s grown to not absolutely hate the guy. He makes his little sister happy so who is he to complain. They got engaged a couple weeks ago. Their engagement party is in a month and Alec was asked to give a speech. But what was he going to say? “I don’t hate you as much as I used to,” or something like that?

Jace, Alec’s adopted brother, died the day after Izzy got engaged to be married. Alec’s baby brother Max unfortunately passed a well. What had happened was Jace decided to drive while under the influence with Max in the car. It obviously didn’t end that well. Izzy is mostly devastated and sad about it, but Alec is more angry. He’s still absolutely livid about the whole thing, and he really wishes he wasn’t so badly. But for some reason the only thing he can think of is “This is all your fault Jace.” He visits Max’s grave all the time, but he has yet to visit Jace’s. He’s not ready yet and sometimes he wonders if he’ll ever be.

Clary, Jace’s girlfriend, is still in denial about it. Well it’s more like it hasn’t hit her completely yet. She hasn’t cried once yet and she just dove into work. Simon, her best friend, keeps trying to talk to her about it, but she keeps saying she’s fine and then changes the subject. Jace had told Alec on a few occasions that he was going to marry Clary someday and build a family with her. But now that’s more of a what could’ve been kind of thing.

Everyone has been coping in different ways really. Izzy threw herself into planning the wedding. She even talked Simon into setting the date so they can get married as soon as possible. Clary has been working non-stop and hasn’t really been talking to anyone. Alec’s parents decided that they needed to get a divorce. Apparently Max was the only thing keeping them together. Now that he was gone, they thought what’s the point? His life changed so quickly after the course of a couple months. Disappointment after disappointment kept coming his way and he couldn’t stop it.

“Are you famous yet or are you still in your struggling artist phase?” Magnus asked, interrupting Alec’s train of thought.

“Still struggling,” Alec said with a bit of an awkward laugh. He wondered if she should talk about his personal life with a man he just met. A really handsome man. A really handsome man that for some reason, Alec wants to tell his entire life story too.

“I’ve been there. It’ll get better,” Magnus said as he placed a hand on Alec’s knee. Which made his entire face turn red this time. Magnus took notice and quickly removed his hand. Alec stood up which made his coffee spill all over the counter. He scratched the back of his head and let out an embarrassed sigh. 

“I’m so sorry,” Alec said. 

Magnus stood up and walked over to a box. “It’s alright,” he said,“I probably shouldn’t have been to forward.” He began to wipe up the mess. Magnus seemed like such a gentleman. This whole feeling felt quite new to Alec. Magnus was just trying to be flirtatious. Alec isn’t really much of the flirting type. It made him feel funny for some reason.

“It’s not you at all. It’s me, I’m just weird today.” Alec’s words were coming out quickly and frantically. He was a stuttering mess. When Magnus was done he put the towel in the sink and turned towards Alec’s direction. The two exchange smiles but Magnus’ is more gentle.

“I don’t think you’re weird,” Magnus said. And Alec could tell that he really meant what he said. The two men stared at each other. Time stood still at that moment, it was the strangest thing. Before Alec could say something, his phone began to ring. It was Isabelle, probably wondering where he is. 

“Hey,” he said.

“Where are you? We were supposed to meet for brunch at eleven, and now it’s noon.” Izzy sounded very irritated. Alec would apologize a thousand times for this and Izzy would definitely count.

“Sorry, I was just- I…” He didn’t want to say exactly where he was without Izzy making a big deal out of it. But he was going to tell her about this later so he went with it. “I was helping out a guy in my building.” 

“A guy? Is he cute?” Izzy asked.

“Um…” Alec looked at Magnus and smiled, “Yeah.”  
His sister began to ramble on and on. “Okay Iz see you soon.” 

Alec turned to Magnus. He has to be the most gorgeous man Alec had ever seen in his life. Not to mention he was really kind and sweet. “I have to go, but,” Alec thought of what he wanted to say next carefully,“ Would you like to go out sometime?” 

It was out. The words were in the air and there was no going back.This was a very new thing for him. Alec could feel a bit of his confidence come back to him. “I would love to,” Magnus said. 

“Great!” Alec cleared his throat. That was way to enthusiastic he thought. “What works for you?”

“I’m not doing anything tonight.”

Alec would usually think that since they just met it would be too soon. But Alec really wanted to go out with Magnus. Not just because he was a fan of his books, but there was something else. The thing was Alec had no idea what it was. Something drew him to Magnus, sort of like a magnetic pull. Alec doesn’t believe in fate or destiny. He definitely didn’t believe in soul mates. If that were true then his parents wouldn’t have split up. They won’t tell him why though. 

“Okay. Seven o’clock sound good?” 

Magnus grinned. “That sounds great.” 

They stood awkwardly for a moment. There was nothing left to say really except for goodbye. “Well, see ya,” Alec said. 

“Bye,” Magnus said with a hint of a chuckled. 

Alec walked out of Magnus’ apartment with a smile on his face. This morning was quite interesting for him. He casually walked out of his front door only to bump into his favorite author and within half an hour of talking and drinking coffee he has a date with him. Izzy was going to think he made it up or something. It seems too good to be true, especially since Izzy reads Magnus’ books as well. She loves them of course, but not as much as Alec does. They have some sort of connection with him as if he was meant to read them.

On the cab ride over to the restaurant, Alec kept thinking about what he was going to tell his sister about the whole thing. He never talks about his feelingswith her, but he’s actually excited to tell her about everything. His phone went off and he saw that it was Simon. “Hello?” Alec said. 

“Hey, Izzy wanted me to tell you that we got take away chinese food and are currently at our place.”

Alec groaned in frustration. “Alright got it.” 

He hung up and then told the driver the new address. Izzy was probably going to be really passive aggressive about Alec being late for brunch. Who even eats brunch anyways? What ever happened to breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Alec rolled his eyes and sighed. If he tells Izzy about Magnus then she’ll probably forgive him. 

The cab stopped so Alec unbuckled his seat and paid the driver. He thanked him for the ride, paid him, and then stepped out. He walked into the building and was greeted by the doorman. “Hello Mr. Lightwood, do you want me to tell your sister you’ve arrived?” he asked. 

“No I already texted her. But thank you anyways.” Alec walked into the elevator and clicked the button for the penthouse. Simon and Izzy moved in together in August. It made some news headlines. Mostly because those two have dated a lot of people and quite publicly. So the fact that they decided to be in a committed relationship was quite a shock to everyone. 

When Alec entered the apartment he was greeted by his sister’s fiancée. “Hey Alec, what’s up?”  
“Where’s my sister?” he asked.  
Simon smile faded for a second and the he shook his head and put it back on. “She’s eating on the couch.” 

Maybe Alec was a bit too harsh. Simon really tries, but it comes off as a little annoying. He needs to calm down and just let Alec get used to him naturally. He keeps asking if they could hang out or something. He’s best friends with Clary and that’s how Simon and Izzy met actually. Of course he was dating Clary at the time, but the two eventually broke up and Clary went out with Jace. Simon was friends with Izzy while he dated other girls but he fell in love with her after he broke up with some girl named Maia. 

Alec sat down next to his sister on the couch. She was in her sweatpants and her hair was in a messy bun. She was wearing absolutely no make-up and had on a Star Wars shirt that is Simon’s no doubt. Simon sat next to Izzy and put his arm around her. “Hello gorgeous,” he said and then kissed her on the forehead. 

 

She smiled and put her head in his shoulder. Alec grinned as he picked up a box of fried rice and some chopsticks. His sister is happy, and Simon seems really genuine. He looked over at them and felt something.That feeling was a mix of happiness and jealousy. Would he ever have a love like that? Someone who loved him unconditionally? He didn’t really know to be quite honest. The unknown absolutely terrified him. He always figured he’d be alone forever.

“Iz?” Alec said. She sighed and ignored him. Alec laughed and said her name again “Isabelle?” She sat up, took a sip of water, and then laid back onto her fiance's chest. “Well then I guess you don’t want to hear about the cute guy from my building.” 

Izzy quickly sat up and turned toward her brother. He guessed that either she forgot or, the most believable reason, she wanted him to bring it up. Alec knew his sister all too well. He’s always been really protective of her. She had dated a lot of people in her life, but Alec never really worried because he knew she could defend herself. Izzy is incredibly strong and very in control over her own heart. He’s only ever worried about when she’s with Simon and that’s because he can really break her heart. 

“So, what’s the story? No! What’s his name? Is he cute?” She asked a million questions all in one breath. 

“Izzy,” Alec interrupted,“Can I tell the story?” His sister laughed and nodded. “Okay, it’s Magnus Bane.” 

Izzy let out a small gasp. “Magnus Bane? As in world renowned writer Magnus Bane? As in the author of our favorite book series Magnus Bane?” 

Alec chuckled. “Yup.” 

“Is he as sexy as he looks in photographs and interviews we watch online?” Alec thought about Magnus for a moment. The way he moved so elegantly as if every time he even made the slightest move. His muscular arms that you could see through his long sleeved shirt. And his eyes… Alec was obsessed with his eyes. Also his soft, kissable lips. Alec’s heart began to race again. “Hello?”  
“Sorry I- um… what was the question?” He asked.

Izzy laughed at her brother’s question. It was nice hanging out with her, even if Simon was there. She’s been so busy with wedding preparations and she’s been working on starting a charity foundation. Not to mention she has a videography about her life that is currently being filmed. It has to do with her autobiography being such a big success. Alec was very proud of his sister. “You know,” Izzy said,”I actually met Magnus a couple of times.”

“What? Then why did you ask me all those questions about if I thought he was cute? You’ve met him, wouldn’t you know?” Alec smiled and laughed with his sister. Her laugh eventually faded and then she looked down at her lap. She seemed hard to read because she was happy just one second ago. 

“It was back when I was dating Raphael and I know how you get when I bring him up.” So that’s why her mood changed so suddenly. “Everything was a blur when I was dating him so I don’t really remember, ya know?”

Alec knew exactly what she was talking about. A while ago Izzy was dating this guy named Raphael. Alec could sense something was wrong with his sister, but he didn’t feel like he needed to ask questions. She was so strong, he never imagined that what happened to her could actually happen. Not long after they, she would start to throw tantrums in public. Since she’s a celebrity it made a lot of headlines. Izzy just became an out of control tabloid headline. It broke Alec’s heart to see the person his sister had become. 

Izzy broke up with Raphael for the third time (because they were on and off again) and she snapped. She moved in with Alec one day and said she didn’t know what else to do. A week later he found his sister passed out in the middle of the kitchen. He rushed his sister to the hospital and then after a couple of tests the doctor had told Alec that his sister had been suffering from withdrawal. Alec saw his sister in her hospital and she looked dead, but not completely. It made his heart top for a moment. 

When she eventually woke she told Alec about how her and Raphael had been doing some form of heroin together. It was some expensive kind called yeinfen. After spending some time in rehab and going to AA meetings, Izzy made a full recovery. After that she made some changes in her life. She created her own clothing line and she became the face of many different feminist foundations. She’s starting her own charity and wrote an autobiography about her life. Since a videography is being made about it, there have been a couple cameras here and there. Also, Izzy has decided to go into acting so that’ll be interesting.

Alec looked at his sister and his soon to be brother-in-law. Simon knows about the Raphael thing and accepts Izzy for it anyways. Actually, he’s the one who told her about the AA meetings and convinced her to go to rehab. But that’s when they were just friends. He loved her and didn’t even know it yet. So yeah, Alec envied them. That’s why he doesn’t like Simon. Not because he’s horrible guy or anything because he’s not. It’s because that he’s the greatest thing to happen to Izzy and Alec felt guilty. He wished he had helped her sooner and he wished he hadn’t freaked out and told her to get help like Simon did.

His whole life all Alec had done was protect and take care of people. But he couldn’t save Jace or Max, he disappointed his parents after coming out, and he couldn’t save his sister when she needed help. The guilt eats at him every single day and he just wants it to stop. It feels like it’s killing him slowly and to be honest it’s painful. It’s causing him not to sleep and sometimes he loses his appetite. He needs to take care of everyone, no exceptions. So when he can’t it stresses him out.


	3. This is it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one really quickly, wow! (don't get used to it lol)  
> Hope you like it  
> tumblr: malec-marvel  
> insta: aestheticaline

Magnus had told his best friend, Catarina Loss, about what had happened.,”So when you said you were swearing off falling in love, that was a joke?” she said in a ‘I told you so’ kind of tone. The two of them had been friends in this lifetime since they were kids. When the two of them were thirteen in their current lifetime, Magnus told Catarina about his situation. To Magnus’ surprise Catarina was the exact same way. They bonded over stories about their past lives and who they were at different points. 

Catarina isn’t the only person who Magnus knew that was like him, but he trusted her the most for some reason. He knew Jem and Tessa, and of course Raphael and Dot. The two of them wrote to him on separate occasions about how they remembered him and wanted to see him again. They all met up at a bar called the Hunter’s Moon to talk while Magnus was at a stop on his book tour. Now they’re all kind of like a family. It made Magnus happy considering in all of his lifetimes so far he’s had shitty homelives. 

“It’s just a date Cat. Love isn’t even on my mind right now,” he said. 

“I just want you to be okay Magnus,” Catarina said. “I gotta go, but call me when you get back and tell me what happened.” 

“You got it.” He hung up his phone and put it in his pocket. Magnus fixed his ear cuff and moved a couple pieces of hair that were out of place. Then he put on some of his favorite rings and a little cologne. It’s been a while since Magnus had been out on a date. For a long time he would try to go on dates with people, but then one day he stopped. He just felt sad constantly and he never wanted to leave his bed. Magnus felt as horrible as he did back in the nineteen twenties and in London except now he didn’t have someone to save him. Or at least he didn’t think he did. No matter how much he tried to push Catarina away, she would just come right back and try again. The two really were best friends and they would be for as long as they could be. Magnus just wants his soul to be at peace, but that would probably never happen. The universe just wanted him to suffer for some reason. 

So he decided that he didn’t want to fall in love out of the fear of losing them. He can grow old with someone and love them, but after death Magnus would have to start all over again. He couldn’t stand the thought of being happy and then having it be ripped away from him. Nobody normal would understand his situation and they never will. So closing himself off to love was the only thing he could think of that could help him. Of course it didn’t, but Magnus liked to think it did. 

There was a knock on the door and Magnus’ eyes widened. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? As he walked towards the door, he began to think about how Alec must feel. He seemed pretty nervous earlier that day so that made Magnus feel kind of better knowing it wasn’t just him. He put his hand on the door knob and took a deep breath. ‘Don’t be nervous, it’s just an innocent date’, Magnus thought. He opened the door and saw Alec standing there, looking as handsome as he remembered. It made his heart rate speed up. 

Magnus smiled and said,”Hello there Alexander.” 

“Hi, you look great. Very handsome.” He made a look and Magnus could tell it meant ‘Did I just say that out loud?’ Magnus let out a small chuckle.  
“Thank you. You look rather striking yourself,” Magnus said. He was pretty experienced when it came to dating, but for some reason he felt like he needed to be careful. He wasn’t quite sure why though. 

“You ready?” Alec asked. 

“Let me just lock up,” he said. Magnus grabbed his keys and his phone and put them in the inner pocket of his jacket. Then he turned the lock on his door knob and closed it behind him. “Okay I’m ready.” 

The two of them walked towards the elevator and clicked the button to go to the lobby. Just before the doors closed they heard someone yell ”Hold it please!” So Alec did, and it was a girl he thought looked kind of familiar. “Hey Alec,” she said. 

“Hey Maia, heading to work?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I’m covering for Kaelie tonight. She has some family thing and I promised to help her out.” She turned and saw Magnus standing besides Alec. “Wow, you’re Magnus Bane.” 

“Indeed,” he said. 

“I’m a huge fan of your books. Really, they’re amazing.” She didn’t seem to be starstruck as other people usually are. Maia was a bit more calm and in control of her words. 

“Well that’s very kind of you, thanks,” he said as a grin grew on his face. Magnus loved being complimented on his work. Knowing that even though people may not believe that something like that could actually be possible, but they loved it so much anyways. It made him feel good. 

“We’ve actually met once,” she said. 

“Yeah I thought you looked familiar.” The two of them exchange a small bit of laughter. He could tell that they were going to get along just fine.  
“You were with a group of people at the Hunter’s Moon. I was your bartender.” That’s where Magnus knew her from. Such a sweet girl with a lot of confidence, he gave her a very generous tip.  
“Right, right.” Just then the elevator stopped. The three of them walked towards the exit and Magnus went to shake Maia’s hand. “Well, it was lovely meeting you again Maia.”  
“Same here,” she said as she accepted Magnus’ gesture. They parted ways and it was just him and Alec now. Magnus felt himself get a tiny bit nervous again, but he could deal with it. His soul has been around for many decades and he’s dated a lot of people. So why was he mentally freaking out and wondering what the hell he was supposed to do? 

“Where are we going?” Magnus asked. Alec put his hands in his pockets and moved his shoulder indicating her wanted Magnus to hold onto him. So Magnus looped his arm around Alec’s and they began to walk. “You’ll see,” Alec said. 

There were three things Magnus noticed in that moment. One, he could actually feel Alec’s biceps underneath his coat. “Hot damn,” he thought. Two, he could feel Alec’s heart pounding. And three, even though Magnus to could feel that Alec was nervous, he could really cover it up well. Magnus wasn’t sure if it was even possible to hide that many nerves for s long. No stuttering like earlier, no blushing like crazy. Magnus somehow admired him for that.

The two of them walked and Alec mostly lead the way. He said that it wasn’t too far way so Magnus didn’t have to worry. “So, your friend Maia is nice,” Magnus said. 

“Oh, she and I are more friendly neighbours than we are friends. However she did date my sister’s current fiance at one point” 

“Really? What kind of love triangle thing is happening?” Magnus thought it seemed kind of funny. 

“I like of it as more of a love octagon actually,” Alec laughed and smiled. Magnus could feel his stomach drop. It felt like he was going down on a steep roller coaster. How could a man he barely knew and just met that day have such an effect on him? 

“Octagon?” Magnus asked,”So there’s more people involved?”  
“Oh boy isn’t there always?” The two laughed together and suddenly Alec stopped walking. Magnus halted as well and turned towards the building they were standing in front of. It was an art museum that he had been to once before. He meant to come back here, but never had the time for it. 

“I love this place,” Magnus said. 

“Really?” Alec asked.

“I’ve been here once and had always wanted to come back, but I never had the time.” Magnus admired the structure of the building. It was massive, sleek, and white with a large metal sculpture that doubled as a fountain about ten feet from the glass doors. This museum was a mix of traditional and modern art. It was very unique and different which is what intrigued Magnus the most. “Shall we go in?”  
“We shall,” said Alec. They walked inside and Alec bought the tickets. Magnus offered to pay for his, but Alec replied with, “What kind of date would I be if I made you pay?” As they walked around they discussed different art forms and many different artists they admired. Magnus was a fan of the older and traditional stuff whereas Alec like to more modern day stuff. 

After walking and talking for forty-five minutes, a certain piece caught Magnus’ eye. It was a portrait of Camille Belcourt. The title was From Rags to Riches. Alec noticed Magnus staring at the painting and stood next to him. “You like the story of Camille Belcourt right?” Alec asked. 

“Well it did inspire my second book,” Magnus lied. He had to tell the world that Camille’s story inspired him. How else could he explain how her story and his story were so intertwined and identical? And up until this point he’s used everyone’s names so there really was no cover up for that. Also, Alec thought that Magnus’ parents named him after, who Alec believed to be, an iconic man from the past. Magnus was glad he was able to hide everything up so well.

“She’s one crazy woman. Deceiving her husband, killing him and making it look like a suicide, taking his company, and then they found out she was the murderer just ten years ago. It’s insane to think that the Belcourt hotels and restaurants are connected to this huge story in history.” Alec seemed very interested in the his own words. “Your second book is basically telling it from her husband’s point of view. The Magnus you were most likely named after. But there’s the story of Prince Asmodeus and his outlaw bastard son, Magnus? That inspired your first story, right?”

“Yes it was.” Magnus knew Alec wasn’t trying to be rude. How could he? He didn’t know about Magnus’ immortal soul.  
“I also heard that you’re basing your third book off of the Magnus from the early nineteen hundreds. It’s like every century there’s an iconic Magnus Bane.” Alec said that with a bit of a laugh. It was true, Magnus became sort of well known in every life he’s had so far. That’s why he was having trouble figuring out a way of not writing a fourth book. What would it be? An autobiography? He did not want the world to know about his condition. That’s very private part of who he is.

“How do you feel about Ms. Belcourt? Do you find the story interesting?” Magnus asked. He really just wanted to know.

“Well she seems like a psychopath. I just feel bad for her second husband, which is why I find your books so interesting. I mean we don’t really know what he went through, but your books give some kind of backstory. It’s cool.” So he feels bad for Magnus. He also think Camille is crazy, that’s good. Who wouldn’t though, to be honest.

“I think that Camille is crazy.”

“The way you said that made it sound like you were a bitter ex.” There was a pit of playfulness in Alec’s tone. Magnus just wanted to walk away from this painting so he didn’t have to talk about it anymore. But he also wanted to keep looking at her. ‘My dearest Camille.’  
“You okay?” Alec asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“Yes I um, her husband probably doesn’t hate her completely. I think he may have a soft spot for her still.” It was true, Magnus would always remember the Camille he fell in love with. The one that saved his life. She was passionate, stubborn, beautiful, and lovely. But after years and years she grew to be wicked. It broke his heart seeing who his wife had become. Apart of him blames himself. For the most part it was just her. No outside forces had to do with it really.

“We’ll never know I guess,” said Alec.

“Right,” Magnus said. He cleared his throat and stood up straighter. “Wanna get some food?”

“Yeah I would.” The two of them walked side by side. Their hands were close to touching, but they didn’t. Magnus wasn’t sure if Alec was going to make the first move or if he should. He looked at Alec and tried to read his face. There was a hint of nervousness, but he was masking it very well. Maybe he should make the first move. Alec seemed to be nervous enough, it could probably calm him down.Magnus reached out, but before he could touch his date’s hand they stopped. “I like going here after the museum sometimes. They have good bacon burgers,” Alec stated.

“Sounds good to me.” Again Magnus offered to pay, but Alec refused. It felt nice that someone wanted to take care of Magnus for once. That usually never happens. He was always the one to pay or take charge. But was Alexander the kind of man who wanted to take care of everything.

The two talked for a while about really anything. Magnus talked about his writing and Alec talked about his photography. Then they got into stuff other than work. Funny stories about themselves or friends and family. Magnus laughed more in one night than he had all month long. Plus, he found Alec’s laughter to be one of the nicest things he’d ever heard.

“So let me get this right,” Magnus said,”Your sister Izzy is dating Simon, who dated Clary, who’s with your brother Jace, who hooked up with Maia, who once dated Simon who’s best friends with Clary?”

“Yes, that’s all correct.”

“How did you not get sucked into all that?” Magnus asked.

“Well the only men in that mess are Simon, whom I don’t like, and my brother. So there’s no possible way I could get into that.”

“Speaking of, you’ve barely spoken of your brother Jace. What’s up with him?” Magnus asked. He thought they probably had a falling out of some sort. Maybe it was impolite to ask. He was about to extract his statement, but Alec spoke.

“He um, he got in a car accident with my baby brother in the back seat. Neither made it.” The tone of their conversation had taken a dark turn.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant to- I didn’t...”

“It’s fine, I get it. I just haven’t seen his grave and I refused to go to his funeral. I’m just angry.” Alec was looking down at his hands. Magnus thought that now was a good time to hold them. So he reached out his and laced his fingers into Alec’s. He looked up at Magnus with sad eyes and a fake smile.

“It’s okay to be angry. One day that’ll fade, I promise.” Alec’s lips parted and his breath hitched. Was this the first time he’s told someone how he felt about this? It seemed really personal for a first date. But Magnus trusted Alec right away, and apparently the feeling was mutual.

“I have work tomorrow,” Alec said as he let go of Magnus’ hands.  
Magnus blinked a couple times and sat up. “Right, of course.”

The two men walked back in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence though. They were together and it felt right. Words would just disrupt anything that they were thinking about such as ‘Do I want to go out with him again? Are we going to kiss after this?’ Magnus hoped that the answer was yes to both of those. 

When they got back to their apartments, Magnus unlocked his door and then leaned against it. They were both smiling at each other. “This was nice.” Magnus broke the quietness between them.

“Yeah it was.” They were staring again. Wondering who would make the first move. “Do you want to go out again?”

“I would love to,” Magnus said playfully. He said in tone that meant ‘I’m right here. Got for it.’ Alec picked up on this and took a step closer to Magnus. He put his hand on the side of his face and looked at his lips. Magnus put one of his hands on Alec’s hips and the other on his shoulder.

They stood there for a moment. Magnus could feel Alec’s other hand going up his arm slowly. Then Alec went in for it. His lips gently collided with Magnus’. It was soft and sweet. Magnus thought his heart was going to leap out of his chest. Alec’s hand moved to the back of Magnus’ neck and the one on his arm moved to his lower back. Their kiss went from gentle to something much more deep. There was passion, as if Alec needed to kiss Magnus.

Oddly, he felt that way too. ‘This’ he thought ‘This is it.’ So Magnus pushed back with his bottom lip, which caused Alec to let out a small breath. It drove him crazy. The kiss began to slow down and then it was back to the gentleness like before. They both leaned back and were breathing rather heavily. That was one heck of a kiss for a first date. Magnus could tell that Alec’s Head was spinning. So he gave Alec a soft kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight,” he said.

“Y-yeah, night. Goodnight, have a... bye.” The nerves that he were repressing had finally spilled out. It made Magnus grin like a lovestruck maniac. He walked backwards into his apartment because he didn’t want to turn his back on Alec. Then when he was inside, he closed the door.

Magnus stood there for a moment, wondering what just happened. Even though it was a first date, it felt like something more. Kind of like they finally had the chance to go out, but they had just met that morning. It was a bit strange how he felt connected to that man across the hall. But that’s what he felt, and he couldn’t help it. Chairman Meow leaned against his leg and Magnus picked him up. “Hi there sweetie,” he said. 

Magnus put him back down and went over to fill his bowl with milk. His apartment was still sort of empty because he still needed to unpack. The things he did for his cat. After that he got into some sweatpants and sat down by his window, looking out at the city. He never grew tired of the city lights. Everytime it was like he was seeing them for the first time. He phone went off and he sat that Catarina texted him. So he decided to call her. “Hello my dearest,” he said.

“What? No all nighter?” she asked.

“It was a first date Cat,” Magnus chuckled. 

“So? You’ve told me many stories that make me think you would’ve done it.” 

“Not with this one, he’s different.” It was true. When Magnus closed himself off to love he never really cared for how the other person was feeling. It was quite selfish of him. But there was something with Alec that made him wonder about him. What he might think about Magnus or what he was doing now. Perhaps Magnus could feel happy with someone again. It terrified him more than anything else.


End file.
